It looks like Sharleen Joynt was not the only singer living in the Bachelor 18 Mansion, Lucy Aragon can carry a tune too (sort of)! Lucy Aragon was eliminated early in Season 18 of The Bachelor, but no one can seem to forget her face, most likely because she was naked during every scene except the Rose Ceremonies. We knew Lucy was going to be a little different during the Season Premiere of The Bachelor, when she climbed out of the limo and was introduced as a “Free Spirit.”
Lucy Aragon appeared tonight on ABC on the special Bachelor Women Tell All episode. After slamming Juan Pablo and accusing him of “not taking the show seriously,” she took to Twitter and made a total mockery of him! Moments after the Women Tell All episode ended, Lucy tweeted a video of her, sans clothes of course, singing a hilarious song she wrote about Juan Pablo and strumming away on her banjo.
We may have underestimated Lucy though, she is quite the poet. Check out the lyrics to her song titled “Ess Okay.” (And try not to fall out of your chair laughing.)
“Juan Pablo, you kicked us off from your show
We’re doing so fine, we’re drinking red wine all night
Hey JP I got a song for you,
I hope you no it’s for fun no hard feelings, it’s true
You make bomb-ass breakfasts and you’re and awesome Dad
But you messed with my girls and you made me mad
You may be the first Bachelor Latino
But all of America thinks you’re totally mean-o!
Drew, Zak, and Robert you’re my boys and I love ya
You shoulda been The Bachelor cus we all wanna f—k ya
I’m not sad we went our separate ways
Night #1 it was Lauren, she was a crying mess
You kicked Kiley to the curb in her awful pink dress
You sent Christie home because she was way too pretty
Every man in America was like “damn that’s a pity”
You sent my ass home cause I was always nude
You ain’t ready for this jelly cause you’re kinda a prude
She danced better than you, so you sent home Kat
Cause she was showing you up, and you aren’t down with that
Renee and Cassandra were so special to you
But you forgot Trey’s name and now they think you’re a douche
You sent Kelly packin’ cause she had funny things to say
And you probably didn’t like it that her Papi was gay
You sent Chelsie packin’ cause she just wasn’t ready
Maybe the truth is she dumped you for Eddie The Teddy
You sent Victoria home, a stradler willing and able
And she could probably drink you under the table
Sharleen bailed on her own because she was too good for you
And the panda dodged a bullet cause the kissing was ewe
Ally, Danni, Lauren didn’t get a chance
And that’s a god damn shame because I’ve seen them with no pants
Andi’s a badass and what we thought all along
And no it’s not okay, the way you treated us was wrong
She left on her own and it’s all for the best
She probably didn’t wanna take a Florida bar test
Now you’re down to two and I wish you the best of luck
Cause they’re really pretty girls and you know he’s tryna f—k
I love you Clare and Nikki, won’t say anything bad
But one of you is about to be really freaking mad
Clare is so cute and a lot of fun in the water
But I think he prefers Nikki cause she met his daughter
The words in this song aren’t meant to sound bitter
But they’re funny as s—t, I think I’ll post them on Twitter
