It’s hard to imagine that Kate Middleton was once upon a time a normal 13-year-old teenager with gawky genes and stressful end-of-year exams. This future Queen of England, this so-called “commoner”, this darling of the world, also had to endure those tough school years when bullies tripped one into trash cans and the popular kids looked like Grease hate crime victims. She too, had to endure the absurd nicknames, the social hierarchy, the school cliques, and the god-awful teachers with their chalk and terror and screaming. Oh, what a blissful time of summer popsicles and strawberry jam toast and the cool, damp stench of Axe deodorant in the bustling hallways…
In a recent report, “Kate Middleton revealed that her nickname at junior school was ‘Squeak’ – after the school guinea pig.” Kate could have been worse off – she could have been called Squeal or lard-nose or wannabe. But Squeak? Dude, are you serious right now?
The Duchess of Cambridge was visiting the super famous St Andrew’s in Pangbourne, Berks for a special St Andrew’s Day event. The school – which she attended for almost a decade – was unveiling their brand spankin’ new Astroturf, and Kate was the special guest of honor. As usual, the future Queen looked chic and oh-so-royal with an Alexander McQueen tartan coat-dress and a smile that could melt the hearts of a thousand armies.
In the special end-of-day speech, the ex-St. Andrews pupil expressed her nostalgic love for her alma mater, “I absolutely loved my time here, they were some of my happiest years, which makes it so incredibly special to be here today. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that when I had to leave, I told my mother that I was going to come back to be a teacher. While that didn’t quite happen, I was thrilled to have been asked back today on St. Andrew’s Day. It was while I was here at school that I realised my love of sport. Sport has been a huge part of my life, and I feel incredibly grateful for the opportunities I had to get outside and play in such wonderful open spaces – though sadly there was nothing quite as glamorous as this in my time. I hope that you all enjoy playing sport here as much as I used to, and make the most of these incredible facilities.”
It’s hard to imagine that the Kate Middleton, the future face of the monarchy as she sits beside Prince William, soon to be King William, played Hopscotch and Spin the Bottle in the famous, centuries-old hallways of St. Andrew’s. If only those walls could talk, the public’s perception of Kate Middleton might be completely different from what it is presently. Can’t say if it would be better or worse…
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