Teresa Giudice is like Uncle Fester – she lives in her own little attic called life and looks like a flattened salmon. No animals were harmed during the writing of this article, only Real Housewives were kicked in the groin.
Joe Giudice speaks his mind around his wife of ten years and it became even more so evident during Sunday’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey when he cracked a joke about his wife’s weight and refused to help her when she injured herself during a camping trip (to hell).
Teresa sprained her ankle after going surfing with the Melissa Gorga, Kathy Wakiles and Caroline Manzo (in other news, the names of mafia head honchos) and winced in pain as her injury was iced. Her husband decided to ignore her Roy Orbison crying. Jacqueline Laurita became involved and nudged him on to care for the poor Teresa who was dying from a hurt ankle. He helped her into the RV for a rest and called her a “heavy ass” as he picked her up and held her over his shoulder like a bag of burst oranges.
Joe seems to like insulting his wife and a new clip from the August 19th episode reveals that Joe calls her “my bitch wife” and a “c*nt”. Might this perhaps be a form of affection? We know we go all ninja on our grandma sometimes. Whenever she exits her room littered with cardboard food, we jump on her and scream, “Nelson Mandela is outside!” The poor woman becomes so frightened by the thought of Nelson Mandela seeing her in her cookie crumb infested nightgown that she runs to the balcony and contemplates jumping (grandma can’t jump…)
A source tells Us Weekly, “Teresa puts on blinders when it comes to Joe. It’s difficult for her to accept that he’s such a scumbag.”
Whoa, does that mean scaring our grandma by dressing up as Freddy Krueger makes us scumbags also? Does that mean jumping from a closet as our grandma enters her room makes us evil? No, we doubt it. Our grandma is still fine, a little spooked, but perfectly sane (sometimes). At times, she thinks she’s eating rice cakes, but usually it’s cardboard cutouts of Randy Jackson. We won’t tell her that.
Joe needs to chill it a bit and show his wife some loving, before she leaves him for Joe “The Salmon” Blue Eyes and finds residence at Snooki’s apartment.
Let us know in the comments below what you think of this story. Is Joe wrong for treating his wife like a homeless bag of air?
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