Nicola Barker wrote in The Yips, “Tattoos are a right of passage. They’re a marker of bravery, of maturity, of cultural acceptance. The tattoo represents not only a willingness to accept pain – to endure it – but a need to actively embrace it. Because life is painful – beautiful but painful…” Whilst we agree that tattoos are permanent and beautiful art forms on the body, we doubt Kristen Stewart would be a great tattoo spokesperson. She is not brave, nor is she mature. However, according to Ok! Magazine, as reported by Jezebel, Kristen is throwing this to the wind and is planning to permanently declare her undying love for Robert Pattinson – in the form of his name on her body. Yes, Kristen plans to get a Robert Pattinson tattoo!
Isn’t Stewart just taking this a step too far? Doesn’t this just smell like the putrid stench of insanity? Kristen cheated on Rob without thinking twice, so why would she be getting a tattoo of his name on her hip/arm/face/eye? Desperate bitches be desperate. Robert only wanted his fair maiden to write him poetry and read it to him under the pocked night sky of Sylvia Plath, but the bitch went, “Nuh-uh Robby! I ain’t gon’ do no poetry for you. I gon’ tattoo ya name on my face! Burp.”
See, Stewart is like one of those girls who appear extremely classy when they enter the pub, but as soon as their Teresa Giudice lookalike friend buys them a shot of hard alcohol, they grow pimp dice from their chin, swing from poles and slam their heads against tables. Boom. Boom. Boom! Their speech becomes slurred and they end up at a drive-thru tattoo parlor named “Bubba’s Tato Parler” and get a tattoo of Jodie Foster’s face on their knee. During this binge drinking episode, they also kiss five different guys and end up screaming at the security in the parking lot, “We’re done! We’re done, you hear me? We’re done Morgan Freeman!”
Would you get a tattoo of your cuckolded boyfriend’s name on your thigh? Didn’t think so!
Photo Credit: CHP/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES