We once read a self-help book. It was a long time ago, before the invention of Facebook and Twitter with those self-help images of people kissing and comic sans scribbled near the bottom, “Roses are red. My name’s Dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.” Facebook and self-help memes go hand in hand, like Kristen Stewart and cheating. It is no surprise then that our favourite Gomez since Gomez Addams has been reading a self-help marriage book titled “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts”
Selena Gomez was caught reading this book last week and told Hollyscoop.com, “Actually, my preacher suggested it to me just for fun so I’m reading it just for fun.” Selena, darling girl, one doesn’t read self-help books for fun. That’s the equivalent of watching Dr. Phil for fun and then commenting on how Robin McGraw’s breasts have grown in the past ten seasons. Gomez insists that she and Justin Bieber are not planning to walk down the aisle soon, which is a relief for Beliebers who plan her imminent assassination. “Just one more picture of his abs Joanne, just one more picture…”
The two have since bought a plot of land together in Tarzana, California – a place where a female Tarzan named Bubba Boo Boo pulls trucks with her teeth for a living. The two love birds will be building a house together soon. A source said, “Justin and Selena are building a massive home together in Tarzana. It’s just a dirt lot right now with some pipes, but it has a generous panoramic view of the San Fernando Valley.” Okay? So it is one of those places where Charles Manson defectors camp out and hold posters to the sky with the words “Come Home!” scribbled in blood?
Self-help books and inspirational memes usually solve the human condition for several seconds, well, at least until they go viral. A self-help book might give Gomez some insights into love, relationships and all that jazz, but it will definitely not solve any major issues. Remember Gomez, “Some relationships are like Tom & Jerry; they tease each other, knock down each other, and irritate each other, but can’t live without one another!” Uh-oh! We think we just vomited in our mouth a little bit.
Let us know in the comments below if you’ve ever had a dodgy experience with a self-help book and if you think Selena Gomez might be able to solve her issues with a 200-page book written by a psych student.
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