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American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 4 Review – Spoilers Episode 5 “Burn, Witch. Burn!”

On episode 4 of AMERICAN HORROR STORY called, “Fearful Pranks Ensue”, this episode gives us one of the most disturbing AHS openings to date. Not just because of the act but the reason behind it. It’s circa 1961 in New Orleans. We see a young boy who we learn is named Henry on his bike he is being chased by some men in a car. Henry heads down and alley to get away but nonetheless they catch him. The men hang the boy because he is black and has just started going to a newly integrated school. Laveau is up next, she is performing a ritual. We see the racist bigots talking about the good deed they done (their wording not mine) when low and behold a bunch of Zombies attack them and kill them. ( Watch out Misty Day you have some competition in the form of a voodoo Queen.)

Apparently Spalding knows how to throw a lovely tea party. All his guest seem really happy and have no complaints they are absolute dolls. No really they are, porcelain dolls to be exact ( this dude just gets creepier and creepier.) Spalding’s tea time with friends is interrupted when he hears a noise. He heads down the stairs and we see the scene from last week with Madison then her laying on the carpet. Fiona is in chair watching Spalding roll her up in the carpet. Fiona expresses that she would have made a lousy Supreme ( no shit, she isn’t even the one that was to be the new Supreme. I’ll bet money on it.) To Fiona’s credit she has tears in her eyes when Spalding walks over to hand her a glass of brandy. Fiona tells him hoe she enjoys their chats especially since he has no tongue. Spalding looks hurt by that statement. They hear a loud crash. Fiona stands up and as she rushes out she tells him to deal with that and points to Madison wrapped in the rug.

Fiona heads into the green house and finds Queenie post Minotaur encounter. Fiona ask Queenie what happened. Queenie tells her she couldn’t stop it. Fiona wants to know what she couldnt stop, cue the Minotaur standing menacingly behind Fiona.

Fiona rushes into Cordelia’s room and tells her she needs her help. Fiona has blood on her cheek (pretty sure it isn’t Queenie’s either.) Cordelia gets up and follows her mother. Queenie is having tiny convulsions while laying on a bed. Fiona is blaming Cordelia for the situation because it happened on her watch and she was asleep. Cordelia wants to know who attacked her. Fiona says not who but a minion of hell is the what. Cordelia ask if it was summoned by one of their girls. Fiona informs her that the girls couldn’t pull a rabbit out of a hat. Cordelia realizes Marie Laveau did it and upon further discussion they realize that they both had a little chit chat with her. Cordelia is rubbing something on Queenie with a brush. Queenie stops breathing . Fiona breathes air in her mouth and Queenie gasp for air. Cordelia wants to take her to a hospital. Fiona tells her no can do she doesn’t want the council to find out and then be breathing down her neck.

Fiona goes to her own room and finds LaLaurie in the closet. She tells Fiona that Queenie saved her. Fiona tells her to keep that info to herself. LaLaurie ask what happens if it comes back. Fiona assures her it won’t. LaLaurie leaves. Fiona lays down on the bed.

In Laveau’s shop the women are chit chatting about how good their clients hair looks. The buzzer signals someone is at the back door. One of the girls goes to answer it. She comes back with a package and says a freak who didn’t say a word (Spalding?) dropped it off. Laveau tells the woman to opens it. It’s the Minotaurs head and it’s freaking eyes are still blinking.( Eyes…Why did it have to be eyes blinking?) Laveau is screaming exactly what I’m thinking…NO.

Kyle is in his bathroom banging hIs head on his tub, still covered in blood. Zoe comes running in and says no Kyle. Kyle repeats his name and then says no Kyle. ( So Kyle Manenstein can say exactly two words now.) Zoe gets a rag and starts cleaning him off as she cries. Zoe apologizes to him and when he goes to touch her she jumps up and says she will make him something to eat. Zoe heads to the kitchen and whips up some tuna salad. She looks up and sees rat poison on the top of the cabinet. She hesitates for all of 10 seconds and then grabs it. Next she heads back to the bathroom to get Kyle. Kyle isn’t there. Zoe freaks out and runs outside. Zoe realizes he is long gone and to top it off its Halloween.

Fiona is getting dressed and she has LaLaurie come zip her up. Fiona tells her halloween is her favorite night of the year. LaLaurie tells her she needs to light a Bon fire and put out offerings or otherwise “fearful pranks will ensue”. LaLaurie goes to tell Fiona that she is beautiful, but Fiona interrupts to say younger. Fiona informs her that both would be correct. Then she tells her that bonfires have been replaced with Jack ‘o’ Lanterns and offerings with candy. LaLaurie ask if that works she says she will see. Fiona puts on a witches hat and mutters who is the baddest witch in town.

Over at Laveau’s she is in the floor preparing for the ritual we saw at the beginning. No good will come of this. The woman who opened the box earlier is talking to her. Apparently years ago Laveau made a pact with the then Supreme for piece. Laveau tells her the truce is over.

Cordelia is on the phone with her husband. He hangs up and answers the hotel room door. There is a pretty red head standing there. Next scene is of them in bed. He is banging the hell out of her. When he organism he gets this crazy ass look in his eyes. The red head tells him she thinks Halloween gives people the permission to be who they really want to be. That crazy eye look is back. She ask him what he was for Halloween last year. He grins as he says a Monster. (Cordelia’s husband is a f**king nut job.)

Queenie is still zonked out. Cordelia is rubbing her face with a rag and telling her to wake up. LaLaurie is rocking back and forth. All of a sudden Queenie gasp and jumps up. She ask Cordelia if she is dead. Cordelia tells her no and leaves to get another rag. LaLaurie tells her she doesn’t no how to thank her for saving her life. Queenie tells her she needs to work on that. Cordelia comes back in followed by Nan. Nan tells Cordelia that they are here. Cordelia ask if she means the girls. Nan says no not he girls.

Turns out that the “they” is the Council Fiona talked so lovingly about earlier. It consist of three members Myrtle Snow, Quentin, and Penbrook. Cordelia goes to blab, thankfully Fiona walks in to shut her up but not before they find out about Queenie. Cordelia also outs the fact that she went to Laveau. Apparently Nan called them because she can’t hear Madison’s thoughts anymore which makes Nan think she is dead. Fiona has a look of the girl who got caught stealing cookies out of the cookie jar on her face.

Spalding is out in the yard putting a head on a scarecrow he then proceeds to hug.

Back inside the council is getting their nosey on much to Fiona’s displeasure. Cordelia is the hot seat. Apparently if you kill another witch they burn your ass for it. Cordelia tells them if they read TMZ they would know Madison has spent more time at the school then she ever did a rehab facility. Zoe is up next ands tells them Madison had that thing. Myrtle ask what thing. Quentin tells her its that thing she lacks “charisma”. (I’m pretty sure that isn’t the thing Zoe was referring to.) Queenie’s turn, she tells them Madison is a stone cold bitch who loves hard drinking, big dicks, and trouble. Queenie also states if Madison is dead it’s probably because she got wasted and offered the Grim Reaper a hand job. Queenie follows that up with a slurp out of the straw in her cup. The three council members looked shocked. (I’m guessing the shock is based on what came out of her mouth as opposed to her “I really don’t give a shit attitude”.)

The council is back downstairs asking if Madison had manifested any new abilities recently. Cordelia takes this moment to realize her damn carpet is missing and draws the councils attention to it. Nan informs the council that Madison recently set the neighbors curtains on fire. Nan tells them she did it just by looking at them. Quentin wants to know who else knew about it.

Cordelia’s husband and his red headed fling are playing house. She is hearing soup on the stove and burritos in the microwave. Cordelia’s husband tells her how the vending machines in San Diego have sushi in them. The red head doesn’t like sushi. They talk a little more and then she makes the mistake of telling him she is falling in love with him. He proceeds to get up grab a gun and blow her brains out. (He has been watching way to much murder porn on on ID.)

The council is having tea. Myrtle thinks that Fiona thinks she is very clever. Fiona rather smugly agrees and then points out she is the Supreme. Myrtle tells her sadly she is. Myrtle goes all judge and jury on her ass. Myrtle points out this is the second time a witch has gone missing and that Fiona was the last one to see both of them.

Flashback to 1971 when Fiona was lying her way out of the fact she killed the last Supreme. A young myrtle knows she is lying and that she killed her. She puts a spell on Spalding that will make him tell the truth. To prevent it he decides to cut his own tongue out with a razor, before he does the deed however he tells Fiona that he has always loved her. (She is so not worth it.)

Myrtle tells her that she knows she is guilty and it’s time she paid for the sims she has committed. Fiona tells her she has no proof. Myrtle tells her they haven’t burned a witch since 1926. On personal note Myrtle also added that she has book of matches in her pocket and she is dying to light this fire. Myrtle questions Spalding about the witch that was responsible for his tongue getting cut out all those years ago. Myrtle wants him to write the witches name on a sheet of paper. Spalding writes Myrtle Snow on the paper. (Which in a round about way is accurate, since she is the one that enchanted his tongue so that he couldn’t lie.)

Myrtle goes ballistic and screams that she knows Fiona killed them both so she could stay Supreme. Cordelia tells them that isn’t true because Madison head a heart condition that she kept secret and since the Supreme must be in perfect health that would rule Madison out. Myrtle is shocked into silence. Fiona looks sick. Spalding still looks creepy.

It’s trick or treating time and we see kids out and about doing just that. Darkness is falling and Laveau is all about her ritual and is doing with a great deal of urgency. It involves a knife, some big snake, a bunch of little snakes one of which she stabs with the knife, and some guy playing a bongo. A bunch of dead people are coming out of their graves.

LaLaurie is giving candy to the trick or treaters. Nan is lighting a candle in honor of Madison. Zoe is sure she isn’t dead. Nan thinks they should be looking for Madison. (I would think Zoe would still be looking for Kyle….guess not.)

No need Nan because Spalding has decided to turn his creepy up to 11 and has Madison in a really big closet. Spalding is having what passes in his mind as a tea party with her. He is all dressed up in a dress and bonnet. He also has a lovely cream colored dress for Madison.

Fiona is chilling at a bar with Cordelia. After a drink Cordelia wants to play the answer three questions truthfully game with her liar of a mother Fiona. First question,Cordelia wants to know why her mom hates her husband. Fiona tells her because her husband is full of bs. Cordelia has question two, she wants to know if her mom killed Madison. Fiona tells her no. Fiona ask her who she thinks the next Supreme is. Cordelia never gives a answer and sadly we never hear question three either. Cordelia ends up in the bathroom throwing up and when she is washing up at the sink a figure dressed all in black from head to toe and a veil to cover the face walks up to her with a glass of acid and throws it on her face.

LaLaurie is still giving out candy. Luke shows up with cookies for Nan. LaLaurie opens the door for more trick or treaters and it’s some of the dead. LaLaurie figures it out when she recognizes one of the faces of the women. She shuts the door as soon as the woman starts towards it. (Luke is definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time.)

Outside the house there are more and more dead coming.

The End!

If you want a sneak peek video & synopsis of next week’s episode, “Burn, Witch. Burn!” check out the preview of episode 5 below!

“Besieged by Marie Laveau’s army, Zoe unleashes a new power. Fiona and Myrtle clash over control of the Coven. Madame LaLaurie is confronted by old ghosts.”

Jessica McCain:
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