Farrah Abraham’s Backdoor Teen Mom sex tape released May 6 is a fake and in fact the woman being womped by James Deen – frontdoor, backdoor, sidedoor and topdoor – is NOT FARRAH ABRAHAM!! Farrah’s father, Michael Abraham, was one of the first people to see the tape after it was released today and quickly called a press conference to express his shock and indignation.
Speaking to reporters outside of Vivid Entertainment’s offices Michael spoke and his outrage was palpable: “those bastards,” he shrieked, “they told me my little girl was going to be a big porn star and make her daddy proud!”
“But when I watched the tape, and please note that I was squinting so I wouldn’t see too much, I noticed that the woman having all kinds of gross sex with that gonif James Deen wasn’t my Farrah!” At this point a reporter for CNN interrupted the anguished dad and asked how Michael knew it wasn’t his darling daughter getting ravaged. Mr. Abraham answered, “I knew right away it wasn’t Farrah – she has a comet-shaped birthmark on her shoulder and it was missing – she’s had it since she was born!“
A reporter for the New York Times suggested that Mr Abraham was confusing some of the characters from the novel Cloud Atlas with his daughter but Michael immediately shouted, “what are you talking about, what novel, we are American and we don’t read books!” Michael continued, “stop trying to trick me – it’s bad enough that Hirsch guy told me that he would make Farrah a huge celebrity, more popular than Angelina Jolie, and now he has marketed a tape with my daughter’s doppelganger – how can Farrah make it in Hollywood if she’s not even starring in this tape?”
Celeb Dirty Laundry asked Michael if he felt at all uncomfortable watching the sex tape and here was what the great man had to say, “At first when I thought it as Farrah I felt squeamish but once I realized it wasn’t MY daughter I relaxed and enjoyed the fine art.”
We have more from the press conference which we will release in subsequent articles.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet