Ian Somerhalder, the resident Christian Grey contender, recently participated in a “dating game” on a Sirius radio show. According to Hope from Celebs Gather, “On March 25, Ian showed up on Sway in the Morning where he received a plethora of calls from fans looking for a date with their idol. The callers made up a truly disparate group, from stereotypical giddy girls to a 47-year-old mom trying to set him up with her 19-year-old daughter.”
See, if it were us at that radio show, we’d try and win a date with someone who could buy us Twinkies and late night crackers. The only prerequisites: Don’t be a serial killer and don’t work at 7/Eleven.
Somerhalder turned down every single pitch, except for one. A woman phoned in and expressed her love for “animals, [the] environment, and books.” Somerhalder, who is also a massive animal rights campaigner, replied, “I’ll be there in an hour.” Obviously, Somerhalder would never leave Nina Dobrev for a lonely caller that saves animals and reads Tolstoy under a midnight moon, now would he?
Nah, we doubt it. Somerhalder is a sensitive mannequin with soft hands and a mortician’s smile. He’s the type you’d take along to those awkward family dinners where your grandma eats her dentures and your brother drools on his Ritalin. He’s also the type you’d introduce to your friends while you smile behind his back and show the “OK” sign with a bandaged thumb.
The Fifty Shades of Grey Movie spectacle has reached dizzying new heights in the campiness mobile. Not only is the film version currently in the casting phase (how can we not be reminded of this?), but it’s also being pre-hyped like a badly timed orgasm and scalding hot after-sex tea.
Fifty Shades of Lame is here to stay. Get used to it.