Kim Kardashian Flashes Baby Bump In Sheer Top, Classic Or Catastrophic?

I just don’t get it. And I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. Why do I care? Kim Kardashian sucks at fashion. I don’t care how much Kanye West tries to change my mind on that ridiculously evident fact. I don’t care how many fashion shows she crashes. This woman just can’t get it right. And she tries so hard! That’s the problem! You don’t go to LAX in the middle of the day wearing a black sheer top over your four-month-old pregnant belly without wanting EVERYONE to have an opinion. And it worked. I’ve been duped. I’m sitting her raging about it. I fell into Kim’s egotistical trap. This is the first and last time (hopefully) I will ever know how it feels to be Kris Humphries.

But this is all a part of her master mommy plan. Kim Kardashian wants to be Stifler’s mom. She will not settle for stained Gap jeans and Jennifer Garner-style flats and and flannel shirts when making her school runs. No, Kim Kardashian’s baby bump is an indication of the fashion that is to come so we’ve got 20-plus years left of this trying nonsense. And we can blame all the sycophantic yes people she surrounds herself with. Fashion designer Nicola Formichetti, who is dressing the mom-to-be, told Page Six, “I think it’s sexy when the girls have the big ass and the voluminous body. It’s much sexier than skinny girls who are in tight clothes.” I do too! But, like I’ve said before, I don’t think Kim dresses for her body type. I don’t know why it bothers me. It just does. Could you see this outfit on Beyonce? Sure, why not? Rihanna will wear this everyday when Chris Brown finally knocks her up. But with Kim it just looks like too much try. TOO MUCH TRY. Do you want to punch me right now? Be honest. You’re probably throwing down a “Let her alone! She’s pregnant and hot and not afraid to show her body. It’s beautiful” nonsense. Sure. OK. But don’t the best dressers manage to show off their bodies without showing off their bodies? What would Jackie O say? In my dreams Jackie just throws Kim some side eye, purses her lips and avoids the whole situation. That’s what I should do… until Kim strikes again which shouldn’t be too long now!