Carole Middleton isn’t the only one set to benefit from the birth of the royal heir and future monarch this July, but Pippa Middleton will be raised, too. Royal sources say it’s possible that the social climbing Middletons will be granted aristocratic titles by the Queen once the royal baby is born in July. This social elevation will cement their places in the British aristocracy – and of course, Pippa would become a Lady herself as the daughter of an earl or some such.
This is all well and good for Pippa because it’s no secret Pipster’s been facing some rough times after big sis Kate Middleton’s marriage to Prince William: dumped by wealthy and well-connected longtime boyfriend, Alex Loudon, dumped by aristocratic BFF George Percy, dumped by publishers Penguin after her book flopped massively. She’s become a laughing stock of Britain. No one wants her around. People are furious she’s writing a column for Waitrose Kitchen magazine when she’s proved through her failed party planning book, Celebrate, that she’s not talented enough to do it and has clearly only gotten the coveted position at the magazine because of who her brother-in-law is.
But worst of all – mommie dearest has told her to pull the plug on her latest boyfriend, Nico Jackson, because he’s not good enough for the sister of the future queen of England. Of course, let’s not be too quick to paint only Carole as the wicked witch. I never thought Pippa was really into this lowbrow Nico born of common stock. I always thought he was just good PR to deflect all the insults being hurled at her – and rightfully so – by the public for being such a social climbing snob.
Just this past week, Pipsqueak and mommie dearest were spotted lunching together in London. Clearly these two met up to discuss their strategy on how to dump Nico and get Pippa into the bed of a rich man – preferrably one with a title and a stately pile in the English countryside.
And maybe they’ve already found a new rich and titled boytoy for Pippa. She was seen hugging a mystery man at another lunch in London recently. But even if this mystery man isn’t the one, it’s a no-brainer bet that Pippa won’t have to marry “beneath” her once her royal niece or nephew is born in July and she becomes a Lady in her own right.
All I can say is this summer’s going to be one royal circus if the social climbing Midds get what they’ve been drooling over for years when the future monarch is born – titles.
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