On last night’s episode of TRUE BLOOD the show opened with Sookie trying to help Warlow wake up while Bill and his pompous ass self stands over her demanding she upholds her end of their deal. Sookie tells him that Eric took their deal and f**ked it in the ass and perhaps he should deal with his vampire seeing as how he claims to be their god. Sookie bites her arm and feeds Warlow from her wrist. Bill is still determined to get Warlows blood, Sookie is determined to prevent it. She reminds him that Eric has more of Warlows blood than Warlow does. Bill grabs Warlow by the throat and ask him how he gets out of faerie land. Warlow tells Sookie to use her light. She does and it throws Bill the hell out. Bill takes off vrooming after he skids to a stop. Warlow tells Sookie she did a nice job. Sookie says thanks and puts out her wrist.
Out in the daylight and looking vengeful and heartbroken all at the same time is Eric. He is pretty much at the vamp camp getting ready to wreak havoc and tear people limb from limb, he stands still watching for a minute, pacing himself I guess, then out pop the fangs (shame it took him this long to find his bad ass again).
Arlene is walking into the cemetery for Terry’s funeral. She passes the Honor Guard on her way and then walks towards his coffin draped with a flag. The preacher meets her and shows her where she is going to sit.
Sookie is asking Warlow if he is feeling any better. Sookie gets up and tells him the funeral is about to start. Warlow ask her if when she showed up last night she was prepared to be his. Sookie tells him he knows that she was. Warlow ask her if she still is. Sookie tells him she made him a promise and when she makes one she always keeps it no matter what. Warlow tells her he believes her. Sookie says good. Warlow tells her to come to him he makes the teeth marks on her wrist disappear. Sookie tells him thanks. Sookie leaves.
Arlene is handing her little bit to somebody and hugging people when Sookie appears in a ball of light. Sookie walks up to Arlene hugs her and then goes to sit down. Sookie walks up to some woman I don’t know and Hoyt’s mother. Sookie ask if the two seats next to them are taken. Hoyt’s mom tells her no. Sookie sits down. Sookie ask about Hoyt, his mother tells her he is doing good and has a girlfriend who is ugly as sin but at least she isn’t a red headed blood sucker. Then much to my delight up walks Alcide (he looks like the old Alcide the one we all came to know and love). Alcide ask if the seat next to her is taken, Sookie tells him she is saving it for Jason (girl can not even remember the voicemail Jason sent her about helping Jessica (or as Hoyt’s mom calls her the red headed blood sucker). Alcide tells her no worries and that he will see her afterwards. Sookie thanks him for coming. Alcide tells her of course and walks away to look for a seat. Hoyt’s mom comments on how he smells like a real man. She ask Sookie who he is. Sookie has no comment.
Back at vamp camp their are bodies without heads and heads without bodies, arms without hands and hands without arms. You know the usual way carnage looks. Bill shows up and says Eric like there was any doubt who did it. Bill vrooms off. Eric is walking around inside vamp camp with a arm in both hands. He tries both on the door lock, the second one opens it. The doc inside looks petrified (as he should be) Eric is on him faster than I can blink. Eric’s rips his arm off and leaves him laying on the ground in pain bleeding to death. Eric asks to where the men are locked up, uses the docs arm to open the door and informs them they are all free to leave they all vroom off but one. Eric tells him to leave and go kill his captors. The vampire tells him that his maker is a drawer. Eric opens and sees that he drank the tainted Tru Blood. He closes the drawer and tells the vampire that his maker is going to die a horrible death, but that he is still free to go. Eric walks out.
The preacher is talking at Terry’s funeral and just panning over everybody. Tara’s mom is sitting next to Sam.
Bill is talking to the half dead doctor with the arm missing asking him who did that to him (really Bill?) the doc confirms it was Eric and then Bill ask what has got to be the stupidest question of this entire episode “did he see where he went?” I’m guessing the doc was to busy screaming in pain and hoping for a quick death than watching where Eric went. Bill then ask about Jessica . The doc confirms that he does know who she is. I think he sends Bill her direction I can’t be sure because I was absolutely distracted by the fact he stomped the guys head in. (Bill literally loves to mess with people’s heads).
Back at the funeral Andy is talking. Andy talks about Terry and now they were cousins. How there grandma taught them to give back. Andy tells about when Terry got back how the responsibility of it weighed on him. Andy has a flashback of why Terry was at the fort and he went looking for him.
Bill is walking though vamp camp, he is passing all kinds of vampires killing and feeding (which in most cases I guess is technically one on the same). Bill walks in on one vampire ripping out some guys teeth. Bill looks pretty grossed out by it. (Did it have to be in a dentist chair..those are freaky enough without any help). Bill keeps walking there is one vamp that has some guy running inside the wheel like a hamster, some are holding the shrink down while they ask him questions. Bill is not amused (one track mind this guy). Meanwhile Eric is letting the women out. Eric notices Jason laying on the bench. Eric tells him he is looking good (lol). Jason tells him they took Pam, Willa, and Jess. Eric ask him how well he knows his way around the camp. Jason tells him pretty well. Eric ask him if he has ever healed him before. Jason tells him he doesn’t think so. Eric tells him he is in for a treat (this whole exchange is absolutely hilarious). Eric has Jason drink some of his blood. Eric tells him when Jason dreams of him to dream up nice things. Jason is leading Eric through the camp and passes a bunch of dead bodies. Once they go by Sarah Newlin pops out from where she has been hiding underneath them. She takes off running.
Sam is talking next. Sam tells about what a good employee Terry was and what a loyal friend he was. Sam is having a flashback of how he went with Andy to the fort to see Terry. They all three go fishing. Terry catches a fish and ask Andy to throw it back because every “life matters”. Terry tells Sam he likes him. Sam tells Terry he likes him to.
Jason and Eric are walking by the room with the shrink in it. Eric walk in and tells the other vampires to leave and give him a moment with him. Jason is standing at the door. Eric sits down in front of the shrink and tells him he forgot to ask him something during their sessions. Jason is just standing at the door looking on in wonder. Eric tells the shrink he should have asked him how he was going to die so he could have prepared himself mentally ( I have missed the old Eric so damn much, I’m so glad he is back). The shrink laughs and tells Eric he really doesn’t care and that he will die happy because he f**ked Pam. Jason pops out from the back with you did not just go there, that’s going to cost you doc and then he points at Eric. (Seriously if you don’t watch any other episode this season.. WATCH THIS ONE…you won’t be sorry). Eric snatches out the shrinks contacts and ask him if its true. The shrink tells him they struck a deal if Pam had sex with him she would be let out of solitary. Eric tells the shrink he isn’t going to kill him, Pam is. Eric walks out holding the shrink by his shirt. Jason walks ahead with a smile on his face and a bounce in his step.
Lafayette is next he looks fabulous in his suit and hat with matching purple eyeshadow and fake lashes. (I think HBO should give him Jason and Eric a spinoff show together).
Lafayette tells about the first time he met Terry which was his first day on the job. Lafayette says by the end of the day he saw something in Terry’s eyes he didn’t expect to see. Lafayette says he could see right into Terry’s soul. Lafayette is showing Terry how to make the fries right.
Eric is walking with Jason when he hears someone scream. Eric smiles and says I know that scream. Eric hands Jason the shrink and says here hold this. Eric kicks the door open and says hello Ginger. Ginger is really happy to see her knight in shining armor.
Porsche talks about him for a little bit. The preacher ask if anybody else has anything to say. Why no one gets up he tells Arlene it’s her turn. Sookie reads her mind and knows that Arlene is not ready to log up so she stands up and says she has something to say. Sookie talks about how much Terry loved Arlene. Sookies flash back involves Terry’s first night of work and how Sookie read his mind and new he loved Arlene from the first moment he saw her. Sookie makes everyone cry. Alcide is sitting in the extra chair next to Sookies so she can have a shoulder to cry on. (I so love Alcide , he could do cameos on the show with the other three).
Bill is running around looking for Eric. When he realizes he has Warlows blood running through his veins to. (It only took half the episode). Bill picks up some guy and ask a question or two.
Sarah is walking up the stairs of a building outside the camp, repeating bible verses as usual. Sarah gets to the top and starts spinning a wheel, which opens the skylight to the room all the main vamps and some newbie ones are in. Bill is laying down and they are all drinking his blood. Everyone except Steve that is. Eric and Jason are watching from a room. Eric takes off to grab Steve by the throat. Jason is thumping the shrink on the head while they watch. Sarah is at the top screaming die f**kers. She starts walking over to look down. Eric is holding Steve in the light so he will burn. Last thing Steve says is I Love You Jason Stackhouse. Steve catches on fire and burns down to a puddle of blood. Ginger starts screaming which makes Jason jump and scream and then cover his ears. Eric walks up to Pam and puts his hands on her hair and tells her he saved the shrink for her. Pam tells Eric he takes such good care of her. She vrooms to the shrink and well takes care of him.
Arlene is talking about Terry when we come back to the funeral. Arlene is talking about how they would take turns freaking out. She starts crying she tells everyone that Terry was her rock. Arlene flashes back to when she first had their baby and she was still in the hospital. Arlene thought the baby hated her and Terry was assuring her that the baby didn’t hate her. Terry tells her to clear her mind and take a deep breath. Arlene does it again. The baby stops crying and starts eating.
Bill is almost if not in fact unconscious and Violet is thanking him for the gift of light. All the other vampires are singing and dancing around. Pam is dancing with the dead shrink. Eric walks out of the room. Pam drops the shrink and ask if they have killed everyone that needs to be killed. Jason says not everyone (Sarah) and takes off. Ginger starts screaming because he left her alone. Violet puts Bills head down and heads towards the outdoors with everybody else. Bill is laying there and sees those three girls that belong to Lillith and they all put a finger to their lips and say shhhh.
Sarah is coming down the stairs when Jason catches up to her. Jason takes her down.
The preacher is talking. When big Jon gets up in the back he sings a song called “Life Matters”.
Jason threatens to kill Sarah with a gun but in the end he lets her go.
All the vampires are walking around in the sun. Eric starts destroying the tainted Tru Blood and they all start to help him.
In Honolulu some guy is delivering a truck load of Tru Blood. There is a pretty vampire girl to prevent it. I think. A bunch more vampires show up and take off with it.
The three girls are standing over Bill singing. Bill says he isn’t going anywhere and then closes his eyes. Jessica and James find him and he is in a pretty bad way. The three girls are getting closer. James thinks if they give him some off their blood it might save him. James tells Bill to drink but he doesn’t.
The honor guard is doing their part at the funeral. Shooting the three-volley salute and taking off the flag and folding it. They play taps and then one of the marines walks over to Arlene and hands her the flag. Sookie reads Arlene’s mind and hears her when she thinks that Terry would have been ok with this. Sookie says good. Alcide ask her what. Sookie says she will tell him later.
The vampires are still enjoying the sunlight. Bill comes out and Jessica gives him a huge hug. They all start to leave. Pam stops and notices Eric. Pam tells him not to leave her but he takes off into the sky. Pam gasp in shock and starts to cry.
If you want to sink your teeth in some spoilers from next week’s episode [CLICK HERE]