Celebrities are not the only ones with relationship problems! This is your forum forsharing your problems and getting advice, CDLers. We offer fun tips and advice on relationship issues such as those you’ve come to know and read about that affect celebrities as well.
Submitted by Lizette V., 22
I am a single woman, living in Los Angeles. I have two friends that I always go out with on weekends. Every time we go out, my friends get all the attention from men while I’m stuck at the bar watching them dance and have a good time. A couple of weeks ago, I started being more forward with men and actually went home with a guy I met and stayed the night. The next day he dropped me off at home and said goodbye. When I asked him if he wanted my number or if he planned to call he told me I was only a hook-up and he doesn’t date easy women! Men do it all the time, so is it slutty to sleep with a man on the first night and expect a call if she really likes him? We did really hit it off.
Hi Lizette,
I’m sure you’ve heard the complaints many times before, as all women have, about how unfairly “forward” or “sexual” women are viewed in comparison to men who are just as promiscuous. Now answer this question for me…While a man may not be labeled “slutty” for sleeping with you the first night he meets you, would you really have a lot of respect for him?” Really, this goes both ways. I think women are more emotional and sensitive about being labeled in a negative way and that is why the sting of the word “slut” really burns. Men don’t care about similar labels or comparisons. In fact, to some men it even increases their bravado.
Instead of focusing on what this man thought of you, use your time more wisely by trying to find new ways to meet men. Attend classes, join book clubs, play an adult sport, go hiking, etc. You’ll be amazed at who you might meet. Don’t go just looking to meet men. It might serve you well to meet some new female friends. It sounds like there may be some competition or bad feelings among you and the friends you go clubbing with, so expand your network of friends and find places where you might meet a man with more clean intentions. From my point of view, your club-man earned the same label of being easy, though he didn’t care because he got what he was looking for. If you are looking for something more serious, don’t put yourself in that situation. He doesn’t sound like anyone you should lose sleep over, anyway. Good luck…and take things slow!
DISCLAIMER: The advice given in this column is not by a healthcare or mental health professional. This is for entertainment purposes only.