Kelly Ripa was ripped a new one when an armadillo peed in her mouth on live television. The controversial host of “Live!” has come under fire for her loud mouthed opinions regarding co-host Michael Strahan’s decision to leave the show for Good Morning America.
A massacre of epic proportions has taken place behind the scenes of Live!, with contract negotiations not coming to fruition and lawyers running around crying on their sleeves. Kelly Ripa is pissed with the network for unceremoniously giving Michael Strahan the green light to join Good Morning America. She alleges that she was never informed of Strahan’s exit.
Ripa is demanding a particular replacement in the form of CNN talk show host Anderson Cooper. If she doesn’t get Anderson, she leaves. Anderson Cooper, on the other hand, told another news outlet that it would be “an honor to work with Kelly”. When she stops being crazy of course, right Anderson?
How would you feel if your talk show partner left you for a different talk show? It’s like good ol’ fashioned cheating, but without the clingy messiness that comes with relationships.
Kelly Ripa had a great run with Regis Philbin back in the day. “Live with Regis & Kelly” was a ratings darling – every warm blooded American watched the show.
But then it all came tumbling down like a pyramid of limbless cheerleaders. The show is now a mere shimmer on a sunlit pool compared to the supernova that it used to be. It’s like somebody that I used to know (yes, let that song stay in your brain until you die!)
Let’s backtrack to what happened when the armadillo peed in Ripa’s mouth.
During a wildlife segment, said armadillo squirted an unknown substance (oh my God) on Ripa’s tongue. How it managed to do that is anyone’s guess – maybe Ripa couldn’t keep quiet so the armadillo took revenge?
Long story short, Ripa cracked the most uncomfortable joke in the history of forever post-armadillo pee.
With a cackle and chuckle, Ripa said, “I want to take him (the armadillo) into contract negotiations with me!” No one laughed. Not even the armadillo. Gary Busey laughed, but it’s Gary Busey – he sees things that exist beyond our sphere of understanding.
Strahan merely muttered, “Wow! Okay…” Or in other words, “What’s she sayin’? She mad y’all! Save me from Jack The Ripa!”
And that’s how you spell awkward.
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